I want this article but without the gender war.

Because it's not my lived experience.

Friend goes blind. Wife leaves him.

Friend goes to jail for something he didn't do. Girlfriend leaves him.

Friend doesn't go to college. Girlfriend leaves him.

I can go on and on with examples of men and women doing this leaving when things get hard behavior. AND I have even more examples of people staying. On both sides. Especially! After marriage.

For all the divorce out there, people take marriage very seriously.

So...

1. I don't think this issue is gendered. Your anecdotes aren't specific, so I wounder if you plotted it out it'd even prove true for your life.

2. In the cases people bounce. This is likely part of their agreed social contract. In my experience, men who leave when their girl gets a bad haircut, aren't saying, "Babe we are forever." They are telegraphing the whole relationship they have one foot out the door.

Same with the women who behave this way.

And I suggest, there might be something pro social about this. It seems gross, but maybe this behavior serves a function? 🤔

Like the flip side is like... What? Staying with an alcoholic because they need support, going through a rough time?

Thanks for writing thought provoking essays.