This makes me want to write about this topic too. I wonder how many men around me have this essay in them? What being good in bed means to them, how they solicit feedback and offer advice?

For me, there's got to be a better way to say Be the Man. But I don't know yet what it is yet.

From my first kiss on, I came to the conclusion the thing I wanted most was that a woman felt safe in my arms. That she feel like sex was home.

I've been lucky to have attained it a few times.

There have been precious few women in my dating life who cared about me feeling safe. They either took it for granted, or were so hyper focused on their own pleasure/insecurities there wasn't time/inclination to look out for me.

I like the idea good in bed, starts long before the bedroom. It's a campaign of building desire over time. The anticipation, and reinforcement of affection.

One thing I've failed to do as a lover, is talk openly about my dates. I never post pictures of who I'm dating on instagram. My friends know, I invite her out, but there's nothing permanent, nothing written.

Not till after we break up, and then it's nostalgia... too little too late. I've feared throwing it in people's faces. I've worried, "Well, if we break up, do I leave these up or do I have to do the tedious admin of taking them down?"

It's something women have since told me they'd wished I'd done. Or expressed how much they like it when their boyfriends do that sort of thing. Take public pride in the relationship.